I don’t know where I was going with this when I first started. I mostly needed a place to express my feelings and show others that they are not alone in their feelings. But I also wanted to share some positivity. Browsing social media, listening to podcasts, and talking to friends on the phone I am finding that majority of us are in the same place. Feeling the same feelings and having similar thoughts. We are just processing in our own ways. I really hope everyone is safe and healthy, as well as doing their part to fight this virus and protect those around them.
Today (3/12/20) was a big day for the United States concerning the Corona Virus, and with that brings lots of thoughts.
I have seen many post-apocalyptic movies and have read many books (such as The Giver by Lois Lowry and Anthem by Ayn Rand)…
(3/14/20) Obviously, I didn’t get all my thoughts down on paper at the moment and I’m glad I didn’t. I was full of anxiety, worry, and sadness over all of the uncertainty.
I live in Ventura County (neighboring county to Los Angeles county) and I am in LA 3-4 times a week for rehearsals and social things. Wednesday I thought we would all treat it like the “flu.” Thursday came around and I started to feel the panic myself and by evening the entire future for many people was shaken. Within one day events and rehearsals and jobs were canceled. I found myself needing to writing statements for the groups I sing in and for my online job concerning the virus. I started getting really scared and realizing that it is more than “just the flu.” I was tracking articles and browsing Facebook and getting frustrated and overwhelmed with the conflicting information, opinions, and lack of sympathy from people. It was a lot.
I want to express my thoughts in my safe little corner of the Internet because writing helps me process and feel better.
—The panic is real. While it seems a little uncalled for and extreme in some places of the country, it is ok to be worried for your family and others. That being said, it does not grant permission to be unkind and selfish. Take what you need (not more than you physically need), share with others, and connect with each other. What other time in our lifetimes has the entire world needed to ban together to support each other…oh wait we always should support each other.
—The judgment of others is not okay, and I am guilty of doing this recently myself. Someone may seem to be “over panicking.” You may see their precautions or statements online to quarantine and take the situation seriously as uncalled for because they are “young,” or “privileged” or “healthy.” The truth is you don’t know. They may be young but have a compromised immune system due to invisible chronic illness or necessary medications. They may be in daily contact with someone they care about who is compromised or in the “risk” age group. We shouldn’t have to worry about what others are thinking of us and we shouldn’t be using our energy in making those statements. And these opinions aren’t new, as accusations like this were made towards others concerning the common flu as well. Let’s respect each other.
—Check your sources. The media is a sticky place to tread through right now. Don’t rely on a shared tweet or graphic with numbers on it, but with no sources. Read the whole story/speech/statement before sharing it or using it to support your argument. Acknowledge all the information, not just the bits that make you feel justified.
(3/16/20) Now, this is turning into a journal of some sorts.
It is now day 2 of my self-quarantine/social distancing. Yesterday I finished one book and started another. I am treating today like any other day sans going out. It helps that it is raining. While it adds to the doomsday feel, it makes staying at home more cozy and justified.
Bars, Restaurants, gyms, etc. are closed in LA (except to fulfill take out orders). Still waiting on more test kits. Numbers are going to go up and I believe that it is going to get worse before it gets better.
The panic and anxiety are subsiding. I am feeling safer and a bit more motivated to take advantage of this time to better myself and my future. Whether that be mentally, physically or even financially. The first steps have to happen somewhere and some point, and sometimes over and over again. Now is the time that I am choosing to start. (Again.)
My heart is hurting for my freelancer and artist friends who are losing their chance to share their art because of the loss of gigs or students. I feel fortunate, despite losing gigs myself. But I am sure the inability to perform and rehearse will get to me eventually.
I am worried about friends and family who live far away from me. I am worried about my friends in Salt Lake City and my family throughout the country in Washington, Utah, Texas, and Virginia.
I deleted Facebook off my phone, and it has been a lifesaver. No more stress over the misinformed and opinionated and judgment filled posts. Instead, I check it once a day and only see my friends at the top of my feed, which makes me happy. I am also spending less time on my phone. I have kept Instagram and I love it. My feed is full of positive posts, more credited information, music, singing, and books. Lots of books. I feel more able to control what I am absorbing through that app.
A friend posted this on his story and I absolutely love and agree with it:
“Have Courage and be kind. You are not privy to the details of everyone’s situation. Their pre-existing conditions, finances, their loved ones who are already affected. We are better than this. Sensitivity costs you absolutely nothing.”
So shout out to Dayne for sharing that. That has been the one thing that has really disturbed me during the past couple of weeks. The complete lack of empathy and concern for others. It makes me anxious and sad to see.
Now is the time to acknowledge the art and beauty in our lives. Listen to your favorite music, discover some new music. Look at some art and read some poetry. Humans are incredible and it is interesting that people are turning to art and artists during this time. Whether that be through their TV, books, Spotify, etc. I am loving listening to podcasts and music. I am reading more and more. But I haven’t gotten into Netflix yet. For whatever reason, within the past year, I have not enjoyed watching TV. Although I am super excited about the free Metropolitan Opera broadcasts this week…
What a crazy, crazy, time.
Thanks for the adventure, Corona Virus.