We are a few weeks into a new DECADE! Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.
Even though I am late on the “New Years” trend, I want to acknowledge how good 2019 was despite all those hard, scary, and emotional moments. I want to acknowledge how much I have learned and changed for the good! I was talking with a friend and we started discussing our last year’s resolutions and goals. I completely surprised myself. While I wasn’t completely “successful” with those pesky annual resolutions (lose weight, make more money, yadadada), but every big thing or goal that I set I achieved! Really though, 2019 was oh so good. (Not like 2015. That seemed like a rough year for everyone. lol.)
Early January 2019 I officially made the decision to move from Utah to California. This was HUGE and spontaneous. Even though I said I had wanted to move to sunny CA ever since middle school, but actually doing it was very different. And very scary – financially and emotionally. I really had nothing to lose and much more to gain so I told myself to not renew my lease or go searching for reasons to stay and get ready…
It was HARD. So so hard. Lots of tears were shed, panic attacks endured, promises made and broken, goodbyes said…There were many reasons I wanted to stay…BUT I DID IT!!
I learned that change and growth are inevitable. Even if you try to stop it, it still happens. But I also learned that we humans have so much power in that we can manipulate the results (to a certain extent) to be a positive experience.
Closing chapters is difficult and there will always be things that you feel like you are leaving behind. Not everything (or everyone) can come with you.
But I did it 🙂
I made it a goal to find a job (or jobs…). And not just any job, but something I will enjoy and will push me towards a CAREER I want. Now I didn’t know what direction to go (and still don’t.) But I have explored. I’ve had the most jobs in the last six months than I have ever had…Now that sounds terrible from a professional standpoint. BUT…I found those jobs. I applied and applied and applied and managed to talk my way into some good learning and fun-filled experiences. I have also survived financially (barely) and I am proud of that.
I started a new church job – playing the piano for the choir and services at a local Methodist church. I have made connections and friends that I will probably keep for years. A door was opened into that area’s music world. And for me, every music opportunity is an opportunity for growth – as I am constantly doubting and hard on myself and my talents. Also, the church has a view of the ocean and I make sure to set aside some “beach time” every week – which is the most healing thing. The beach is my happy place.
I worked a temp job at a school photography company where I not only saw the behind-the-scenes of that kind of business but learned a lot about the local vibe from people who have lived here their whole life. I made some friends. I also quickly learned (like after the first day) that I do not enjoy desk jobs. I was only there 4 hours a day and I could barely make it through. It is not my vibe and I had to tell myself over and over again – it is OK.
I got a fully remote/online job and I love it. There is freedom and breathing room for me to do what I want and when. I feel the possibility of growth, change, and permission to set my own goals and defend my ideas within this particular business I’m working with.
I have learned I hate feeling stuck. I hate feeling tied and forced to stay somewhere because of strong commitments to something I really don’t care for (such as a mediocre job- that pays, kinda, but isn’t fulfilling.) I love feeling like I have the power to say yes or no to opportunities such as gigs or just fun vacations. I love feeling like I can make my day how I want it to be without a huge influence from a set-in-stone, every day, schedule. I love freedom.
I wanted to grow in music. I wanted to continue what I have been doing in the last decade and not become one of those who studied and dedicated their lives to something to only put money, success, and stability above it and completely change directions after school to only regret it later. Whew…
I have done so much music in 2019. Along the way, it felt like nothing. I felt like I wasn’t accomplishing much. That I was only doing the minimal amount, without much growth. I felt my failures. I self-analyzed and admittedly put myself down (as that is how I cope with trying to avoid disappointment…) But reflecting back…I sang with the Utah Symphony and Utah Opera. I auditioned and successfully joined Caroling, Top Shelf Vocal, Premiere and sang backups for artists like ROZEN. So many new things and new possibilities. I have met so many new people and new worlds/options have opened up. What a ride.
I do feel changed. A lot of personal changes (that I am not quite ready to share on the public internet haha) have occurred in the past year. The view that I have of myself has changed. How I see myself in the mirror and the future is constantly changing. I have discovered that while you may be on a path with people or forces pushing you along, ultimately it is your hard work and bravery to jump that makes it happen. I did it. I made those changes. Made the move. Went to the audition. yadadada. No one else. I am trying to embrace fear and feel like I am (somewhat/most of the time) succeeding. And I want to keep doing that in 2020.
2019 was my year of change – big and small – and I am oh so grateful for it.
Thanks for the Adventure Twenty Nineteen.
I didn’t love, love, this book. I chose it simply from the title and the cover. Lolz. It was different than my normal reads: action, guns, and lots of alcohol. Very James Bond… But the mystery was exciting. Very Da Vinci Code… And I won’t lie that I was pulled in by the romance. It was a quick read, which once my brain shut off I couldn’t put it down. The excitement and writing made up for the “spy” genre that I don’t normally go for. And I loved the European and Opera references!
there? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes! That drive is gorgeous. Seeing the ocean and open fields with open water behind it brings me sooo much peace. My anxiety goes away and overall I am so grateful I moved here, simply because I am so close to the ocean. So I highly recommend taking the I-5 or even the PCH (if you don’t mind more traffic). Preferably timed around sunset going north, and you are guaranteed gorgeous views no matter what. Then add some good music and podcasts and you are set.
boy I’m glad she did. So much beach and sun that I was in heaven. We spent most of the day walking down the main strip (Garnet Street), eating food and checking out the little shops. I filled my book haul need at 
This was a hefty read. Over 500 pages of information and heavy emotions. It took me a month to get through it but totally worth it. It was absolutely fascinating. I have seen quite a few documentaries and thought I understood the darkness and mystery surrounding Ted. Ann Rule offered so much insight and information. It was beautifully written and easy to read despite the length, subject matter, and the immense amount of facts. But more importantly she brought so much emotion and light to the victims. Highlighting how terrible it was to loose those girls. Gave them a voice. Thank you Ms. Rule for sharing your side of the story and putting so much work and effort in telling the story of all characters to this story: including police forces, detectives, journalists, lawyers, judges, the families of the victims, and of course those who perished at the hands of Ted.
again to bring back the magic of reading. I wanted to get excited about the characters and completely transported from this world and after such a hefty commitment to Stranger… I needed it. Jane Austen just got it. She understood the human conscience so well therefore her characters are so relatable. The human emotions she describes are so accurate. It has been years since I read it last, and before I had dealt with real love and heartbreak but boy, she got it. I related to Elizabeth more than ever, and found quite a bit of comfort in Victorian England. Anyways, I loved it as always.
THE GUNSLINGER (DARK TOWER #1) by Stephen King
has won awards. The story was interesting, and the writing overall very well done. For the longest time (like the first half of the book) I couldn’t figure out whether it was a historical, dystopian, or plain Jane fiction. I did eventually feel connected to the characters, but there was not an overwhelming need to know what happens to them. It would be a good book to start conversations about culture, humanity, and how humans view each other. I’m glad I read it, and I would recommend it but not an absolute “stay on my bookshelf” read.
Ever since seeing the documentary of the same name and hearing about her story, I have wanted to read Malala’s memoir. Overall, what an inspiration. I think it is important to be aware of the world, other cultures, as well as other people’s struggles. It brings into perspective what is actually important in life and how lucky we are. I admire Malala’s bravery and dedication to what she has decided is her life’s purpose. Education is important and should be given to all. Violence and discrimination for power should be stopped. It was not the most engaging read, but inspiring. She gives a look into her beliefs, religion, culture, country, fears, joys. Yes, like many others, would relate it to The Diary of Anne Frank. Malala is on the top of my list of inspirational people on this planet.
gorgeous passages. The mystery is engaging all the way through. The human relations are real and beautiful. I liked the switching between time and characters. The message of love, family, and courage thrives all the way through and leaves you inspired at the end. I caught myself squealing, laughing out loud, and crying throughout. The historical significance is interesting, sad, and important to acknowledge. Overall such a good story and book and I will recommend it to everyone. As well as keep it on my shelf..
thanksfortheadventure.org 