(3/19/20) Lots is happening and lots is changing very quickly. They have announced the order to stay at home in LA and California – only go out for necessities. There’s no end date which is a bit concerning.
I’ve been feeling better overall. Less anxious and scared and more accepting of the situation. My days are enjoyable. I go on a run and take jasper on walks. I read. I work a little and I eat. I do a lot of daydreaming and I avoid my phone as much as possible. I avoid reading the news.
I get sad at night. I feel the most lonely at night, but that’s no different than before this pandemic. I mostly miss my close friends in Utah as well as my family.
I feel very far away from everyone and everything and I do find it hard to see an “end”. But I think everyone is feeling that way.
I am also feeling grateful and I want to take advantage of this time of isolation for self-reflection and forcing myself to slow down. I want to continue these survival habits I’ve started this past week.
I have loved the overall positive vibes coming from Instagram and the blogs I follow. I want to keep pushing out the joy in the little things that we all are forced to see now.
It’ll get better. I’ll see my people again. I will give them hugs and kisses. I will go on adventures again.
Read part 1: Thanks COVID-19
(3/28/20) It has been a hot minute, which is the most common opening line in my real journal LOL
But there is a new normal now, which makes me realize how quickly we adapt. I wake up, take the dog out, eat, exercise or play on my phone. I slowly work on my to-do list throughout the day while avoiding my anxiety. I eat more and read more. I usually finish off the day with a book and movie and goodnight wishes with my best friend.
I went to the store for the first time in over a week. It was refreshing and I felt incredibly proud of myself. I felt a bit back-to-normal after interacting with strangers.
I feel so privileged to not feel panicked about my financials right now. I know that if this quarantine period continues I will eventually become affected. But I am grateful to be living where I am, even though I have my moments where I feel absolutely trapped and not at home. I am grateful for my baby, Mister Jasper the dog. And thank goodness for a pandemic-stricken world that still has working technology.
I have my moments. I have had silent panic attacks and sometimes it seems like every night the weight of the world’s problems and my fears come crashing down. A “sorry” to my friend who has to hear it every night. But we have started saying one happy thing to each other as we say goodnight, and it’s usually that the sun came out or that we got our run/workout in. And I am oh-so grateful for those little moments before falling asleep.
I know that this entire situation will not be forever. Our society has gone through this time and time again, and we come together and become stronger because of it. I still have my fears that it won’t or that someone who is dear to me will suffer because of it. I am afraid that my vision of what I would like my life to be will not happen, because of the virus. But I will see my dear friends and loves soon enough. I will be making music, going to the beach, and having a mindless conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop register again.
What a world.
I intend on writing more. This is so therapeutic. I have met a number of new friends through the internet blog/instagram world, which is so exciting and I am so excited about it!
I have plans in the works, and posts to catch up on. I can’t wait to start sharing things that aren’t pandemic related, but simply make me, Becca, happy.
Anyways, as always…
Thanks for the Adventure, Corona.
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Much love to all of you!